Updating the Icons

"I would really love an older man who worships me, kisses my every footstep," wished Emmanuelle originator SYLVIA KRISTEL-- one of the "Time Bandit" icons we'll be updating in the next issue of CELEBRITY SLEUTH Magazine, "Women of Fantasy 16," on newsstands nationwide in early April. "I want the old story of the prince on the white horse."

Well, she got the age and the horse parts right: Reached at her home in Amsterdam, the 54-year-old Sylvia recounts her "torrid 5-year affair" (photo) with 10 years older and "hung like a horse" Ian McShane, now known best as profane Al Swearengen on HBO's gritty western Deadwood (photo).

McShane attributes his "boozy and womanizing past" (photo) to "a bit of male menopause," but Kristel hisses of the period: "What Ian McShane did to me defies description." In her September 2006 autobiography Nue-- French for "Naked" {note its cover with the classic "Emmanuelle Chair," (photo), that figures so prominently in our "Women of Fantasy" issue}, Syvia gets down to brass... knuckles: "He beat me up often (photo). But I would say I beat him up equally {which explains his dark glasses, (photo)}. One night we were making love-- then fighting and hitting each other (photo). Next, we'd have passionate make-up sex sessions (photo). At first {after meeting while 'making' 1977's The Fifth Musketeer}, we would make love three times a day-- everywhere and anytime {(photo), perhaps Swearingen's last shower?}. It was very tiring. After two years, a sexual relationship was not enough. We would fight"-- McShane would no doubt claim it was because she needled him (photo). Sylvia finally walked out after Ian "picked up a bucket of champagne and threw it at my head"... likely the finest brand, since her name is pronounced "kri-STELL" {sorry, (photo)}.

Having survived a 2004 bout with lung cancer {where there's smoke there's dire, (photo)}, the aging Emmanuelle today reflects: "Our relationship can only be described as awful." Hardly the description of the "Fantasy" issue she commences in about a month.